The Turtle swims on


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Today we lost one of the world’s most beloved Authors. If Shakespeare taught us what it means to be human, Terry Pratchett taught us how to laugh at the human condition. The Guardian, in their tribute to Sir Pratchett said it best:

The emphasis was always on the comedy, the foibles and peccadilloes of the characters, a gentle cynicism about the ways of the world, a joy in puns, a love of irritating footnotes, and relish for the bathetic puncturing of the bombastic.

While popular success often equates to ill-written or lazy speak, Pratchett’s success was due to his intellectual yet accessible style of writing. Between his puns that make you do a double take, to his use of classic literary references, Pratchett showed us that humor could be adroit and charming.

Perhaps this is why I am so sad. Why I’ve been holding back my tears all day. There is no one quite like Sir Pratchett. No one who is able to at once poke fun at human foibles while making us think and laugh at the same time. His world was our world. And now, with his passing, we mourn as one. I am at a loss for words.

I can think of no better tribute to Pratchett and his work than to let him have the final say.

I give you five of my favorite Terry Pratchett quotes.

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord.”
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. “Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”

“The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who think they’ve found it.”

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn’t as cynical as real life.”

“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”

Long live Terry Pratchett. May you now be swimming with the Turtle


Dear Prudence, are we being punked?


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Forgive me for taking a break from my usual line of posts to address this burning question. What’s the deal with Slate Magazine’s Dear Prudence?

Dear Prudence is Slate’s answer to Dear Abby. I read the articles occasionally, and have always wondered if I should laugh or cry. Many (no most) of Prudence’s questions seem to come from people who live in the Jersey Shore universe, or at the very least, come from a very small gene pool. As you read the following Q & A, ask yourself:

Is this Slate’s idea of a satirical take on Dear Abby?

Does Prudence not understand she is being punked by these questions, or

Are people really this stupid??

Let me know what you think.

Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I fell in love at first sight. By the time I stood up and realized he was 4 inches shorter, we were too in love to care. I never in a million years thought I would be in this situation, but when you find the right person, you just know. My question for you is: Should I prepare other people for the height difference? I find myself trying to drop it into conversation when people haven’t met him yet. Sometimes I try to mention celebrity couples as examples, to give people an idea, but that only seems to make things worse. What I really want to say is, “I have trouble noticing the height difference because he’s a god in bed.” What’s your advice? And why does this stigma still exist?

—The Next Clare Grant and Seth Green

Dear Clare,
People definitely need to be prepared for this shocker. Before you introduce him you should alert your friends and family by saying, “You’ve heard that good things come in small packages. Well, even though my boyfriend is small, his package is not, so despite what you were probably thinking, I’m very satisfied in bed, thank you very much!” Then you could add, “I don’t know why people are so concerned about height differences. Sure, I never thought I would be in the ridiculous situation of towering over my boyfriend, but I’m not hung up about it at all!” Your boyfriend is shorter than you are. Big deal. It’s not something worth mentioning or being defensive about. It’s an unimportant, self-evident fact. You say there’s a stigma about shorter men with taller women, but that seems to be mostly in your own head. So get over it before you scare off your terrific guy through your own smallness.




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