Back when Blogspot hosted The View From Sari’s World I wrote a weekly Sunday Rant post. Some of my posts were better received than others yet I always felt better after I got off my chest whatever issue was gnawing at my brain that week. Being home all week made me think it may be time to bring the weekly post back. Too much time on my hand and way too much TV have had a lot to do with this thought.
As I mulled this idea over, trying to come up with a clever way to not sound like an old curmudgeon, I found a post by author Jack Flacco that may have solved my problem. I wish I had thought of this first! Instead of writing a list of New Year’s resolutions Flacco has given us a fun 2014 wish list/bucket list. I have no intention of writing a bucket list just yet, (give me time I’m turn 50 this year so maybe I should start at least thinking about one) but I do find the idea of a list a lot more fun than a rant. So for my faithful followers I offer you:
My 2014 wish list
I wish people would stop acting shocked whenever a hillbilly redneck opens his or her mouth. No, you weren’t surprised by what Phil from Duck Dynasty said. You should have been surprised it took him so long to say it! We all know there are those who still walk among us who hold these views. No matter how much it repulses us, we will never be completely free from idiots like Phil. Ever hear the expression “give a man a long enough rope and he will hang himself”? I say let Phil speak, and then let the world decide if he belongs in the public spotlight. If what he said really, really bothers you contact the show’s sponsors to tell them you will not be buying their products while he is on TV and then follow through on the threat. Far too many people bitch about things yet never do a damn thing about them.
I wish somebody would tell Phil that inventing a tool that when used properly alerts ducks to the promise of sex is a hell of a lot closer to bestiality than anything two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home. I also wish I could see the look on his face when being told this harsh truth.
I wish I did not have a pile of unfinished books on my shelves. I have so many I could probably make the first grownup book fort. Seriously, I don’t know what happened in 2013 but I struggled to finish the books I read. Maybe I’m developing adult ADD (which reminds me, I forgot to start the laundry) or my reading choices in 2013 were not so hot. Either way I hope 2014 is kinder to me in this regard. Oh sure, I did manage to read Stephen King’s The Gunslinger Friday afternoon, but find myself putting aside The Drawing of the three. I’ve been promised the series gets better but so far I have not found this to be true. And speaking of books…
I wish someone could explain to me this new genre of “Dino Porn”. I was made aware of this type of book by Ben and Aaron of Mysterious Universe. I’m still not quite over the shock of being subjected to Ben’s reading from one of these books. Apparently this is not some underground secret cult churning out these books, nor is it some crazy creationist’s novel approach to showing the world dinosaurs and humans did in fact live together. No, it is quickly becoming a growing cottage industry. So much so that online book retailers are starting to not only take notice, they are cracking down on it. Amazon is pulling the e-books down just as quickly as authors write them, citing the no bestiality clause. Maybe someone should send one to Phil? Could 2014 be the era of monster erotica? If so, let this be a sign of the end times.
I wish people would stop believing everything they hear or read on TV and the internet. This is a wish I have had every year since the internet was made available for public use yet I continue to believe someday people will take the time to look things up for themselves. This point was driven home last night while having dinner with my parents; two people who are retired and have the time to look into issues they fell are important but do not. We talked about Phil, Paula Dean and incandescent light bulbs. They tried to defend both Phil and Paula until I told them what words they were defending. I asked my mother if she knew the difference between incandescent and halogen. No she didn’t. She just knew Fox News reported that the old fashion light bulbs were disappearing at the stroke of midnight Dec 31 so she went out and bought a case of them. I pointed to the two bulbs overhead and said “you mean the ones that look like this? Yeah, these are halogen mom. You will still be able to buy old fashion looking light bulbs”. I wish my parents would stop watching Fox News.
I wish more of my readers would leave comments. For a blog that garners a lot of visitors and hundreds of followers I don’t get a lot of feedback. Do you come here to laugh (at me, not with me, I know I’m not that funny). Do you visit to feel better about your own writing? Or do you simply visit because you like my posts? One of my goals of 2014 is to become a better writer and to do this I need your honest feedback. Help me make this one 2014 wish come true. If nothing else, leave a comment and share one 2014 wish.