King’s Bazaar of Bad Dreams, more like a nap of fleeting thoughts

UK Cover Version
UK Cover Version

Have you ever awoken feeling a little shook up, or out of sorts because of a bad dream, one you can’t quite remember? I’m sure you have. You try to recall the details if only to sort out why it bothered you, why this particular dream…

If you started a book in 2015, but finished it in 2016, does it count as your first read of the new year? Let’s assume yes, only so that my yearly review is once again a Stephen King book. Last night I finished, The Bazaar of Bad Dreams, a collection of short stories, some previously published, one redone, and one expanded.

After finishing the book, I turned on HBO-Go, hoping to finish the night with a laugh, when I noticed that they finally brought back season one of True Detective. I’ve longed wanted to watch this ever since I caught a partial viewing of one of the last episodes, one that had me curiously riveted. I am only one episode in, so no spoilers please.

In one scene, Matthew McConaughey’s character says something deeply profound about the state of the town he has just moved it. He looks around the parking lot of a grown over boarded-up strip mall, outwardly dejected by what he sees. The mall’s condition is a metaphor on his feelings towards his new surroundings; “This town looks like someone’s memory of an American town, but the memory is fading”.

This quote struck me in many different ways and could be applied to many different ideas, most being political in nature, yet, as I started to write my review, I found that it also applied to King’s latest offering. Substitute the word “memory” for “dream” and you may get a feel for this book.

Have you ever awoken feeling a little shook up, or out of sorts because of a bad dream, one you can’t quite remember? I’m sure you have. You try to recall the details if only to sort out why it bothered you, why this particular dream…

King writes an introduction to each story, telling his constant readers how and why he came up with this particular story idea. I found these tidbits often more entertaining than the actual stories they produced. For me, these stories /dreams felt one-dimensional and wispy around the edges, as if they were fading or had never been fully formed to begin with.

King has always been a favorite of mine (long time readers know of my young adult obsession) because he magically creates well-rounded characters from which deep wells of emotions can be drawn from, even if their lives are only found in a few pages. This time the well turned out to be dry.

This first story, Mile 81, is the only exception, but having been previously published as a Kindle offering, long time readers are left with a collection of stories involving stories that don’t quite work, either they end poorly as with Ur or would have worked if they were longer as with Bad Little Kid and The Dune.

King’s constant readers may find pleasure in a few of these stories, Afterlife, the story of a recently deceased man who finds himself in an office and with a choice, is classic King, but most of others may disappoint. There is no running theme in this collection, other than to say they are a look into the dark side of life, but we expect that from King anyway.

These stories are King’s idea of bad dreams; perhaps they don’t work because he usually offers us up nightmares. These we hold on to, these don’t always fade with time. We constant readers cannot get Quitter’s Inc. or Stand by me out of our minds. The memory of these older stories are what keeps us up at night or have us thinking and talking about long after they end.

King says of this collection, “The best of them have teeth”. I wish that this was true, but the best of them do little more than nip at your brain. One or two may have you thinking, but not for long. The memory of the discomfort leaves you as swiftly as it arrived, leaving you wondering if you were truly uncomfortable in the first place. I’d gladly trade these bad dreams of Kings for his nightmares.

If you feel the way I do, I’d skip this book. If you need a King fix, go back and revisit Night Shift or Skeleton Crew, the best of these stories have fangs.

Cleaning up my blog cupboard, or why some of us should use idiot guides.

After three hours of working on my blog site, I asked, "What level of hell is this?"
After three hours of working on my blog site, I asked, “What level of hell is this?”

I have a New Year’s Day tradition. Each January 1st I decide to clean out a cupboard; usually my pantry or my spice cupboard, looking for expired dates and unused items. One year, feeling very ambitious, I pulled out all of my plastic ware in order to match the bowls with the lids. Much like disappearing socks, my lids tend to wander to parts unknown. This idea was deceptively easy, yet I spent almost an entire frustrating morning trying to figure out where half of my bowls came from and why they hadn’t bothered to invade my homes with their lids. Rude behavior indeed.

This year would be no different. I wanted to start the new year with clean cupboards yet now that I am child free and don’t bother stocking up like a paranoid prepper, I wasn’t sure which of my already clean and organized cupboards actually needed my attention. If not them, what would be my first “clean up” of 2016?

I’ve already written about how I clean up my TBR bookshelves and get rid of any book that has sat alone for two years. This will come this afternoon, and I am a little sad to report that yes, some books will be removed from lack of attention. So no, this yearly project will have to wait. Tradition, you know!

It hit me last night that I’ve been putting off another deceptively simple project; it has been quite some time since I have cleaned up my blog and pages. As much as I liked my theme, it was limiting and afforded me little opportunity for any real change. This sounded like the right (simple) project to start 2016 with. Those of you who know about WordPress will laugh or groan at my naivety.

Armed with little more than a desire for change and the courage to hit “apply” I set out to reorganize and update my blog. At 5:30am (way too early for sane people) I started reading “helpful” articles on WordPress themes. One stated that it is very easy to organize blog posts into different pages. This I thought was just the thing I needed; I wanted to house my posts into pages, so that all of my Shakespeare posts could be readily available by clicking on the “Shakespeare” page. It turns out I would have been better off trying to re-write his plays. I may have had better luck.

The first thing I had to do was pick a new theme. As I mentioned earlier, mine was old and limited. After numerous previews of different themes, I picked WordPress’s 2016 or as they call it. “Twenty Sixteen”. I liked the color scheme and the ability to have a featured image for each page. I took a deep breath and hit “Apply”.

I was aware I would have to play with the settings or “widgets” as they are known in the blogging world. What surprised me was the limited way in which I could use and set them. My older theme allowed for a more fluid setting, while this new theme only allows users to set them in one sidebar. It took about an hour of playing to make it look right, and about another half hour to figure out how to move my pages list up on the header.

The theme’s description says, “It’s intuitively easy to use” yet here I was, randomly pushing buttons like the preverbal monkey hammering out Shakespeare. Would it take me a thousand years to figure out how to get my blog to look right and more importantly, did I have enough coffee in the house to accomplish this feat?

Finally, around 8:30 and after another round of coffee and inner debate (header or no header, that was the big question) I had it looking okay, a little stark, but I really felt that the old header to be a distraction on my updated pages. If I can figure out how to remove it from my secondary pages (something WordPress says can be done) I will put it back, but I am not sure I will use the old one. This too may be something that goes as 2016 comes in.

Now came the fun part, linking my Shakespeare posts to my new Shakespeare page, just like the article says can be done. I don’t know what universe the article writer lives in, but in this particular universe I learned, this is not a WordPress feature! Oh the article was very clear that “Categories” was the magic wand that linked pages to subjects. It made sense at the time. You simple added a category to a page and selected that category when publishing your latest article.

After another frustratingly long hour of playing “Where is the Category option?” on my secondary pages, I was forced to pick up my copy of WordPress for complete idiots, which was appropriate after four hours of trial and error. It was through this book that I learned I could not accomplish what I wanted, because secondary pages do not have the category option. Ahhhh! Now I felt like a complete idiot for not reading this book first. Sigh…

So, as you can see dear Reader, I have a new look. It’s a work in progress but for now I am going to let sit as is. You, no doubt will let me know what you think. Any tips would be appreciated as well.

Not all is lost. It was an adventure into the world of backend blog administration and reminded me of why I don’t update my site very often. Besides, after this, cleaning off my bookshelf will be a blessing, no idiot guide necessary.

 

Happy New Year’s Day to you all!

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