My 2014 Wish List

Back when Blogspot hosted The View From Sari’s World I wrote a weekly Sunday Rant post. Some of my posts were better received than others yet I always felt better after I got off my chest whatever issue was gnawing at my brain that week. Being home all week made me think it may be time to bring the weekly post back. Too much time on my hand and way too much TV have had a lot to do with this thought.

As I mulled this idea over, trying to come up with a clever way to not sound like an old curmudgeon, I found a post by author Jack Flacco that may have solved my problem. I wish I had thought of this first! Instead of writing a list of New Year’s resolutions Flacco has given us a fun 2014 wish list/bucket list. I have no intention of writing a bucket list just yet, (give me time I’m turn 50 this year so maybe I should start at least thinking about one) but I do find the idea of a list a lot more fun than a rant. So for my faithful followers I offer you:

My 2014 wish list

I wish people would stop acting shocked whenever a hillbilly redneck opens his or her mouth. No, you weren’t surprised by what Phil from Duck Dynasty said. You should have been surprised it took him so long to say it! We all know there are those who still walk among us who hold these views. No matter how much it repulses us, we will never be completely free from idiots like Phil. Ever hear the expression “give a man a long enough rope and he will hang himself”? I say let Phil speak, and then let the world decide if he belongs in the public spotlight. If what he said really, really bothers you contact the show’s sponsors to tell them you will not be buying their products while he is on TV and then follow through on the threat. Far too many people bitch about things yet never do a damn thing about them.

I wish somebody would tell Phil that inventing a tool that when used properly alerts ducks to the promise of sex is a hell of a lot closer to bestiality than anything two consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home. I also wish I could see the look on his face when being told this harsh truth.

I wish I did not have a pile of unfinished books on my shelves. I have so many I could probably make the first grownup book fort. Seriously, I don’t know what happened in 2013 but I struggled to finish the books I read. Maybe I’m developing adult ADD (which reminds me, I forgot to start the laundry) or my reading choices in 2013 were not so hot. Either way I hope 2014 is kinder to me in this regard. Oh sure, I did manage to read Stephen King’s The Gunslinger Friday afternoon, but find myself putting aside The Drawing of the three. I’ve been promised the series gets better but so far I have not found this to be true. And speaking of books…

I wish someone could explain to me this new genre of “Dino Porn”. I was made aware of this type of book by Ben and Aaron of Mysterious Universe. I’m still not quite over the shock of being subjected to Ben’s reading from one of these books. Apparently this is not some underground secret cult churning out these books, nor is it some crazy creationist’s novel approach to showing the world dinosaurs and humans did in fact live together. No, it is quickly becoming a growing cottage industry. So much so that online book retailers are starting to not only take notice, they are cracking down on it. Amazon is pulling the e-books down just as quickly as authors write them, citing the no bestiality clause. Maybe someone should send one to Phil? Could 2014 be the era of monster erotica? If so, let this be a sign of the end times.

Honest Abe
Honest Abe

I wish people would stop believing everything they hear or read on TV and the internet. This is a wish I have had every year since the internet was made available for public use yet I continue to believe someday people will take the time to look things up for themselves. This point was driven home last night while having dinner with my parents; two people who are retired and have the time to look into issues they fell are important but do not. We talked about Phil, Paula Dean and incandescent light bulbs. They tried to defend both Phil and Paula until I told them what words they were defending. I asked my mother if she knew the difference between incandescent and halogen. No she didn’t. She just knew Fox News reported that the old fashion light bulbs were disappearing at the stroke of midnight Dec 31 so she went out and bought a case of them. I pointed to the two bulbs overhead and said “you mean the ones that look like this?  Yeah, these are halogen mom. You will still be able to buy old fashion looking light bulbs”. I wish my parents would stop watching Fox News.

I wish more of my readers would leave comments. For a blog that garners a lot of visitors and hundreds of followers I don’t get a lot of feedback. Do you come here to laugh (at me, not with me, I know I’m not that funny). Do you visit to feel better about your own writing? Or do you simply visit because you like my posts? One of my goals of 2014 is to become a better writer and to do this I need your honest feedback. Help me make this one 2014 wish come true.  If nothing else, leave a comment and share one 2014 wish.  

Sari

Your Truth is Out There

I’ve tried several times, rather unsuccessfully, to write about confirmation bias. It is something we suffer from now and again. Unfortunately it often clouds our judgment and informs our world view. STEVEN SCHLOZMAN, M.D. has just published an article in the New York Times that in my humble opinion, is the best argument on the effects of confirmation bias. I just had to share it with you.

Published: October 25, 2013

The Harvard Doctor Who Accidentally Unleashed a Zombie Invasion 

Roughly two years ago, one of the most popular radio programs in America finally alerted the country to the coming zombie apocalypse. The weekend host of the radio program, Ian Punnett, was interviewing me, a Harvard Medical School physician and national expert on the compelling world of zombie neuroscience. Punnett asked me to help make sense of a new and terrifying threat to our planet, and I told him what I had learned from a discovered manuscript penned by a doctor from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention who had succumbed to a zombie plague while studying its origins. The newly uncovered disease was called Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency syndrome (A.N.S.D.), I explained, and the C.D.C. expert worried that the disease had been engineered by nefarious hedge-fund managers, in hopes that the stock market would plunge and become vulnerable to manipulations as the chaos spread.

I am in fact a physician, I do teach at Harvard and I’m also a fiction writer. It was in this last capacity that Punnett had me on his radio show. In 2011, I wrote a novel titled “The Zombie Autopsies: Secret Notebooks From the Apocalypse.” The novel presents a zombie scenario that (I hope) feels real and plausible despite the fact that it’s clearly made up. The radio program I was appearing on was “Coast to Coast,” and Punnett and I chatted on the air from about 2 a.m. to 4 a.m. E.S.T.

Punnett had done this before — taking a creepy work of outlandish fiction and interviewing the author as if what he’d written were actually true. I wasn’t even the first zombie author to be featured: Max Brooks discussed his novel “World War Z” with Punnett in much the same format. The “Coast to Coast” broadcasts are immensely entertaining and not a little unsettling; the late-night venue probably adds to the verisimilitude. Everything is just that much easier to believe when you’re listening alone in the dark.

I knew all this going into the show. I knew that we would play it real for a while, and then we’d let listeners know that we were just messing with them. I also naïvely believed that most listeners would realize this as well. After all, even if you weren’t familiar with the format of the show, you might be skeptical of zombie news relayed through a radio broadcast in the wee hours of the morning, with commercial breaks for lawn fertilizers and auto insurance. If the end really were upon us, you’d think that, in a zombie scenario, you weren’t also going to worry about maintaining a lush, green lawn.

Instead, the show generated a ripple of genuine concern. E-mails showed up in my in-box, and I got questions along the lines of: What’s the best medicine to stave off the zombie infection? How do I keep my house safe from the zombie onslaught?

Some people who contacted me — and realized that we were fooling around — were furious that I had even toyed with such an idea in a public venue. One person went so far as to suggest that I had violated my Hippocratic oath. I had to answer for my appearance to my peers and to my boss, some of whom felt I acted irresponsibly. As for me, I felt pretty bad — and also somewhat surprised. I was, after all, talking about an exceedingly well known, undeniably frightening but nevertheless entirely fictional pop-culture phenomenon. I didn’t really expect anyone to take me seriously.

If you like history and popular culture, then you’ll note that what happened to me has a familiar ring. On Oct. 30, 1938, Orson Welles performed a dramatic adaptation of the H. G. Wells classic “War of the Worlds.” It was the night before Halloween, and the young Welles wanted his dramatization to create all sorts of fun, so he played it straight. His program was “interrupted” with an announcement from “Intercontinental Radio News” that there had been a series of strange gas explosions on the planet Mars. From there, the world proceeded to end.

The show set off a wave of scattered but intense panic. And when listeners found out the invasion wasn’t real, boy, were they mad. More than a thousand people wrote to the CBS network to complain, and the newly created Federal Communications Commission fielded more than 600 letters and telegrams. Paul Morton, the city manager of Trenton, demanded in a letter dated Oct. 31, 1938, that the F.C.C. “make an investigation and do everything possible to prevent a reoccurrence.”

Nearly every lawmaker who played a role in the discussions asked essentially the same thing: What can we do to prevent this from happening again? Some suggested that all future radio dramatizations be vetted by the F.C.C. before airtime. This tactic was deemed too intrusive, and eventually others recommended a more news-oriented approach: ensure that the people are given additional, accurate information so that they can independently check and verify what they think they may have heard.

In other words, give them something like the Internet — at least in theory.

Now let’s look at my experience with zombie panic and the Internet. Even before the “Coast to Coast” radio broadcast, it didn’t take much to find evidence online that I was already “warning” the nation about zombies. I had written a fake medical paper on the putative virus that causes zombification, so there was ample evidence to confirm your worst fears of zombies — assuming you didn’t read any of the online reports about my paper (which were all in on the joke) too closely.

In fact, Ataxic Neurodegenerative Satiety Deficiency syndrome, the disease that I simply made up, now has its own Web site, and there are supposed photos of A.N.S.D. that you can find through a Google search. (I did not know about any of this until my wife showed it to me.) Drexel University once ran a disaster drill for nurses using an outbreak of A.N.S.D. as a model, and the C.D.C. mentioned A.N.S.D. in its own blog.

So much for using the Internet to defuse panic. In some ways, the same method that our policy makers recommended indirectly back in 1938 has heightened our capacity for social hysteria. You can find evidence for nearly anything that scares you if you simply look for that evidence online. An illegitimate president fudging his birth records? A grand conspiracy to topple the twin towers and blame terrorists? A frightening link between vaccines and illnesses? “Proof” of all this and more is only a Google search away.

Social psychologists note that in game situations, the more outlandish the bluff, the more likely it is that the bluff is taken seriously. The human interpretation of a giant fib seems to be that the apparent mistruth wouldn’t be worth telling — that being caught in the lie would not be worth the risk of being caught — unless the lie were in fact true. As the mathematician Blaise Pascal once said, “We want to be deceived.”

To be sure, conspiracy myths and mass hysteria were not invented with the Internet. But the online world allows a tiny spore of ridiculous conjecture to mushroom quickly into a widely disseminated belief. This happens, in part, because you often go to the Internet to look for information that confirms your pre-existing mythologies. This is what social and cognitive psychologists call “confirmation bias” — the idea that, if you have a preconception, you will selectively examine the available evidence to support that belief. Perhaps worse, you will selectively ignore the evidence that challenges your convictions.

The Internet is in many ways designed to amplify this bias — not just temperamentally but technically. For example, if you use my computer to search the word “food,” the very first jpeg that a Google Images search yields is an electron micrograph of salmonella. But if I were to use someone else’s laptop — someone who didn’t use his computer to write about zombies and infection and food-borne illness — I’d more likely get a photograph of pizza or a salad. To this end, the Internet recycles your own preconceptions, even in the guise of a seemingly random inquiry. It scares you with what it thinks you want to know.

There are other aspects of media-generated hoaxes and panic that are worth noting. Those who studied the “War of the Worlds” fiasco noted that the apparent authority of a well-known figure like Orson Welles, coupled with the modality of radio (the major means by which information was transmitted at the time), lent credibility to what would otherwise have been received as science fiction. (Imagine, by contrast, if a random person ran screaming toward you on the street, saying that Mars was invading Earth.) Additionally, the Great Depression and the looming, free-floating anxiety of World War II proved to be fertile soil for panic. The public was waiting for something in which they could situate their already present fears.

This means that we’re more likely to believe a fictional account told by a reputable source using a modality through which many people receive their news, especially in the context of the uncertainty characteristic of modern times. Voilà! A Harvard physician talks about zombie infection on the radio during a time when we can’t open a newspaper without reading about pandemic flu or the risk of mercury in our fish oil, and then the Internet confirms every fear of zombies that anyone ever harbored, supported by references to the very doctor who was just on the radio.

One of my favorite examples of this phenomenon did not create panic but did dupe a good deal of smart people. Use the Google Trends tool and query “male pregnancy.” You’ll note a fairly impressive spike between 2007 and 2008. This is roughly the time that the first male pregnancy was reported at the world-famous Dwayne Medical Center. Word of this amazing medical achievement spread virally online.

Except there is no Dwayne Medical Center. And of course, there’s no male pregnancy among humans. The entire Web site celebrating the scientific achievements of the Dwayne Medical Center is a hoax. It was created by a multimedia artist named Virgil Wong. He brought to his Web site the very same elements that were associated with public belief that Martians were attacking back in 1938. His Web site for Dwayne Medical Center looks very authentic. It mixes popular modalities of media in an impressively seamless digital montage. The pregnant man, for example, is featured in the Web site on the cover of a doctored U.S. News & World Report.

For those who are Internet savvy, the story of this hoax is old news. Still, it isn’t that hard to show this site to people naïve to the story and get them to believe it. As the noted skeptics Agents Mulder and Scully might suggest, the truth is out there. But when you search for it online, the truth may turn out to be whatever you need it to be.

 

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