Sunday Rant Let’s talk about the social contract

 

Sunday Weekly rant, I mean wrap upThe act of association comprises a mutual undertaking between the public and the individuals, and that each individual, in making a contract, as we may say, with himself, is bound in a double capacity; as a member of the Sovereign he is bound to the individuals, and as a member of the State to the Sovereign. But the maxim of civil right, that no one is bound by undertakings made to himself, does not apply in this case; for there is a great difference between incurring an obligation to yourself and incurring one to a whole of which you form a part”. Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I don’t know about you, but I think we should once again teach the basic principals of Rousseau’s Social Contract as part of high school civics. As a society that’s increasingly more self-absorbed than ever, we need desperately need Rousseau. It’s a sad comment on American society to say that we need to be reminded of our social obligations, but it’s true nonetheless.

In his book, Rousseau outlined the need for a political community that worked by addressing both individual and society’s rights and how the two were not mutually exclusive; one cannot work without the other. Although his book and the philosophy behind it pointedly addressed political ideas (some of which laid the foundation of American politics) Rousseau was quick to point out that this contract extended to citizenship; society is made up of both individuals and a collective whole. Rousseau reminded his readers that individuals who value their rights or freedom and self-expression must also admit that this freedom only works if smaller rights are given up for the common good.

A good example of this can be seen on our roadways. We have the freedom to choose our car and when we drive it, but we don’t have complete freedom of how we drive. Because each individual has this freedom there are thousands of cars on our streets and highways. We have rules governing our driving; i.e., stop signs; lights; and speed limits. When we ignore these rules we are ignoring our obligation to the social contract.

Rousseau is not the first to want to outline a set of rules for societal behavior. We can look to the 174 B.C. E. Babylonia Code of Hammurabi. This code, or set of rules of law is one of oldest we’ve found to date. This set of codes were posted on stone blocks, some posted as you entered Hammurabi’s city. These codes covered everything from contract law to marriage laws. Some historians believe that this set of finely detailed codes were written in response to a growing society whose members needed reminding of their social obligations as well as political authority. Some things never change.

Though the 10 Commandments were part of the covenant between the Jewish god Yahweh and his chosen people, Christians have adopted them as part of their social contract. Some even suggest that these laws should part of our secular social contract to be posted on government buildings. I disagree for the following reasons:

  • The commandments are too basic. If you don’t know the “Thou shalt not kill” rule before you are an adult member of society, you probably don’t belong in society, period. Here’s one that we do need: Thou shalt not text or talk and drive. If you are an individual whose phone call can’t wait, you’d have a limo driver. Come to think of it, if you don’t know this rule by the time you are old enough to drive, you shouldn’t have a license.
  • America is home to many religions and if we start putting up rules based on one, we’d have to put them all up. Who’s going to take the time to read all the rules? What if they contradict each other? Which ones do you follow?
  • Having rules based on religious text is the definition of Sharia; A Middle Eastern approach to political and social lawmaking. I find it hysterical that conservative religious Americans do not see the irony that while panicking over the idea of Sharia taking over their towns, they are trying to force it upon themselves. But I digress…

We need to study and learn about Rousseau’s social contract because as we are given more and more freedom and choices, we are unwilling to give any up. We are forgetting that society only works because historically we have agreed to limit our freedoms or “rights”.

I’ve touched on this before in another post, but as our lifestyle choices have expanded so too has the erroneous belief that we can “do what we want”. Or in some cases, don’t do what we want. Yes, if you live on a deserted island or deep underground than by all means don’t vaccinate your kids if you don’t want to. But because you live in a large society, your personal choice does affect those around you, so you better get your children vaccinated if you want them to be part of the collective whole.

We have forgotten that in shared public areas there are limits to our individual rights. This is where a good civics lesson comes in. We need to teach our children that society only works when its members agree and adhere to its rules. Respect for society reflects our need for individual respect, yet too many people refuse to acknowledge this basic tenant. Instead of posting the 10 commandments, maybe we should come up with a list of 10 basic social contract rules.

  1. Thou shalt not talk in a movie theater. This is what a home theater is for. We don’t want or need to know that you’ve seen this move already and can’t wait for your friend to see….
  1. Thou shalt not be so lazy that you cannot put your shopping cart away. Or didn’t your mother teach you to put things away when you were done using them? Someone else would like to use that parking space after you are finished.
  1. Thou shalt not sigh loudly while in line. You are not the only person on the planet who has things to do. Be happy you have the money to purchase items and aren’t standing in a soup kitchen line. Oh and if you are, don’t sigh then either, remember, your getting a free meal.
  1. Thou shalt not say, “I know” when in fact you don’t know. There is nothing more irritating to the gods than hearing people say they know something to be true when in reality they have no facts or evidence to support such claims. The gods really hate it when you post this kind nonsense on Facebook.
  1. Thou shalt not open carry a gun on the public shared space. No, you aren’t telling us you have the ability to defend yourself, your telling us you have a small penis and that is way too much personal information. If you want to carry a concealed weapon for personal safety, you have that right. But you do not have the right to freak the rest of us out. How are we supposed to know you aren’t the real threat?
  1. Thou shalt not bring screaming babies into restaurants. Some of us paid to leave our screaming kids at home and don’t want to hear yours.
  1. Thou shalt stop being offended by every little thing that you don’t agree with or upsets you or you don’t find funny. Society has an obligation to ensure all are treated equally but under no such obligation to ensure your personal pet peeves are dealt with. Life does not come with trigger warning so grow up and get over it.

That’s only seven but you get the point. It is increasingly clear that in almost every area of society there are those who refuse to acknowledge their role and obligation to the social contract. This is why we desperately need Rousseau and renew basic civil lessons. A society is only as good as its members. If we continue down this path of self-absorption, how long can society really last?

 

 

Please feel free to comment and add to the list of modern commandments.

The invisible woman

Tell me you see two people in this photo
Tell me you see two people in this photo

This post is going to be a little different. You can either thank or complain to my son Alex about this. He is the one who challenged, nay dared me, to step out of my comfort zone. His philosophy on writing is that in order to grow as writers we have to climb out of our box and try a different shape. This way we develop our skills to include new ideas and modes of expression. In a way I agree with him, and as one who never backs down from a challenge, I agreed. So, here we go; it’s going to get personal. We are going to talk about the invisible woman, or to be succinct, how society ignores women over 50.

The idea of a women as invisible creatures never occurred to me prior to Saturday, but now it makes so much sense. It is why I’ve been stuck in my personal life for a couple of years now. It is why, when I go out of my way to connect with people, I come home feeling isolated.

The idea that society tends to devalue woman as they age hit me square between the eyes last Saturday afternoon. This is not a concept I’ve developed, nor am I the first woman to notice it. Hollywood and corporate women have been talking about this for years. It is a non-issue for most of us, until it happens to us.

My son asked me to join him Saturday for a belated birthday celebration. He found out that the local university was hosting a mini “Make a Fair”. An event designed to bring inventors, craftsmen, and Steampunk exhibits under one roof. Alex knew I would love it so off we went.

It started off on a high note. As Alex paid for our tickets I filled out a waiver so that we could participate in the interactive events. I gave an exaggerated groan when it came to writing my age down. I told the volunteer that this was the first time I had to write “51”. As much as I try to view age as just a number, it hit me that this was not a number I relished. Good god, I should be thinking about retiring, not starting a new career. The nice lady laughed and said, “I should be proud”, as I didn’t look 51. I smiled but then thought, “What’s wrong with looking 51”? It was a question I mulled as we walked down the aisle towards the first of the science exhibits.

When we came to the fossil exhibit I didn’t hesitate to ask the young man to tell me about them. During my first two years of college I waffled back and forth between science and history. History won, but I took as many natural science courses as time and my schedule allowed. I knew what I was looking at but it didn’t stop me from asking questions with child like wonder. Strangely my questions were met with vague dumbed- down answers. The young man turned to Alex and started to talk to him as if he had asked similar questions, only this time giving more in-depth answers. The funny thing was, Alex was not standing near me. He was a few feet away,less interested in the pieces than my reaction to the exhibit. When I asked the young man for information on the museum that housed the fossils he gave a brochure to Alex. It was as if I were a ghost that this man was determined to ignore.

Next we came to a man holding what I can only describe as a fire stick. It was a long decorated stick with a small torch attached to the top. I giggled when I saw it, because it was less science, more Burning Man apparel (if you don’t know what Burning Man is, look it up. Nevada is ground zero for this hippie event). I laughed and said to the fire stick man, “So, teach me about fire.” He responded by saying, Well, it burns”. He then pushed a button on the stick to show me how it worked. When I asked the follow up question, “What do you use it for?”, he turned to my son and said, “Here is when you’d use it”. He then went on to ask my son and his girlfriend their names and demonstrated the stick’s useful features. (As a pitchman he must of learned that this often helps sell a product). Once again, I was ignored.

This theme of talking to Alex while I was the one who asked questions continued. To be fair, some of the vendors talked to me, but only after noticing Alex’s seemingly disinterest. Alex had also observed my invisibility and tried to counter it by disengaging from any conversation. It made our visit a little awkward and not at all as fun as we had hoped. As an experiment I tried light flirting with an older man who was showing off his Steampunk car. Hell, I would have taken light banter, but nope, he answered my questions politely as if he was talking to a child.

You might think of this as an isolated event. It could have been that I had an off day, but it wasn’t. This has become my social life. It’s the social life of my friends as well. We can go out determined to have a good time, determined to connect with others on a human level only to be marginalized and ignored. Oh sure, we are fawned over by sales clerks and waiters, as we are the generation with money, but other than that we are invisible to the rest of the world. We no longer have strangers opening doors for us. We no longer have men vying for our attention at parties. We have become the ghosts that people walk by, noticed only in peripheral vision if at all.

Why? What happens to a woman when she turns 50? My roommate gave me an honest answer as to why men no longer open doors or smile across the room. To put it bluntly, he said, “In general men do not see women over 50 as possible sex partners”. He went to say that men still view women in their 40 this way, but there is something that stops them from giving any thought to a woman over 45. This doesn’t explain the female lack of interaction, other than to think maybe we are no longer perceived as threats, so there is little motivation to engage in friendly rivalry. Or perhaps society just doesn’t know what to do with women over 50.

All societies rely on each member to contribute something to the greater good. Those who are young are looked upon to either contribute by procreating, thus ensuring the continuation of society, or by being productive workers, ensuring that the society thrives. Those over 50 are viewed as burdens; something society will soon need to take care of, rather than look to for contribution. No wonder both older men and women slowly recede into the shadows, men too at some point (though many over 60 are still considered “hot”) find themselves invisible.

I will not go gently into that good night. I still have many things I want to do. I want to finish my book. I want to start a podcast. I want to teach. While you won’t find me dressing like a 20 year old or acting younger than I am, you will find me having a good time. I will not become a bitter old woman. If at some point you see an “older” lady rocking a brown bowler hat, you’ve found me. Come over and say hi, or at least smile. I refuse to be invisible.

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