Dear Barns & Noble, this is how you treat your loyal customers?

Dear Barnes and Noble,

My name is Sari Nichols. I’ve been a Barnes and Noble card member since 2004. Since then I’ve received countless announcement e-mails from you. Your company is really good about announcing book sales and alerting members about new releases. Hell, I have to endure Barnes and Noble ads while surfing the web, because I buy books from you. Everywhere I look, there you are; hoping to entice me to buy yet another book. And yet, despite the fact that I buy Stephen King books from your company, you failed to alert me and every other loyal card member about how you were going to handle the hosting of the Stephen King book tour; the first in many long years. You didn’t think this was worthy of even one lousy e-mail notification? It’s STEPHEN KING, for god sake! In case you didn’t know it, he is considered a literary giant among those who he loving dubs his “Constant readers” and these people are legion.

When the tour was announced early this year, I scanned your website to see how one would go about getting tickets to hear him speak. In fact, I checked it for months. Shockingly there was no mention of his tour. In fact the only reason I knew about it is because I follow him on Facebook and Twitter. Could you have a least put a notice somewhere on your website? Did you know, according to his on-line biography, Stephen King has sold over 350 million copies of his books? Would it have hurt you to announce how you would choose the lucky ones? Because, as it turns out, scoring tickets to see King hinged on two things; knowing which Barnes and Noble Facebook to look at and on which day.

To be fair, maybe it was not up to you how the lottery would go down. Perhaps it was up to the publisher, Simon & Schuster, but as a partner in the tour and as the host, the least you could have done was alert your loyal Stephen King buy book members on how to watch for the official announcement.

As it so happened, customers had to read their local Barnes and Noble Facebook page on a particular day, as there was only one brief announcement. The posting directed those wishing to see King to e-mail their local B&N on a certain day between certain hours. You couldn’t have just announced up front that you would be doing this?? Jesus, you’d think you were hosting Edward Snowden, freshly smuggled back into America to give a talk on spying.

So as you can guess from the tone of this letter, I missed the announcement. I found out the day after customers were to e-mail you. My son’s fiancé posted that she scored two tickets on Facebook. See, I follow her on Facebook because I know her. I had no idea Reno’s B&N even had a separate Facebook account! How many does your company need??

Now, here is where my rant really begins, here is where you’ve lost me as a customer. I am not so much upset that I didn’t get to see King speak, I am upset by what happened next and how Reno’s B&N handled the event.

Once I found out about the cloak and dagger approach to seeing King live, I called my local B&N in the hopes that a last minute e-mail was possible; that as a loyal card member I might have the opportunity to see him if Reno did not receive an overwhelming number of e-mails (which it turns out they did not). I was told in no certain terms would a last minute e-mail be accepted, and under no certain terms would I be able to see King live (which turned out to be lie).

I don’t fault the young man who answered my phone call. I am going to assume he was passing on the information he was given. And at the time, this may have been the plan. That only those who e-mailed on the day of instruction and prepaid for a signed book would see King live. And when I called a couple of weeks ago to see if there was even a small chance, I was told no. Again, only those who prepaid would be get to see King live. Keep this in mind as you read further. I was told there was no chance to see him.

So imagine my surprise, when I received a text message from my son on the day of the event that read, “Hey mom, if you can get over here, B&N are allowing the shoppers to stay to see King”. WHAT??

As it turns out, on Saturday, as instructed those with e-mail conformations lined up at 8AM in order to get their wristbands and signed books. These King fans waited in line for two hours for the doors to be open to them. But then, after they got in, weekend shoppers, who had no idea Stephen King would be speaking, were allowed in. Worse, they were allowed to stay, even though callers (turns out, I was not the only one) were told that this would not be possible.

Now understand, if I lived in Reno I would have jumped in my car and headed over as quickly as the speed limit would’ve allowed. But unfortunately for me, Carson City is my hometown and with summer road construction getting there in time would have been impossible.

So thanks to Reno’s B&N decision to tell callers there was no chance to see King without an e-mail conformation, yet allow just anyone into the store that day, I twice missed a chance to see my favorite modern fiction writer. Thanks, B&N, thanks for nothing.

Well, I got something out of it. My son gave me his signed copy of “The End of the Watch”. A fitting title as this is the end of my loyalty to your company.

Sincerely,

Sari Nichols,
Ex- card member of B&N

Happy Towel Day & Thanks For All The Fish

The original UK cover
The original UK cover

Happy Towel Day! Here’s a look at my annual Towel Day post.

Towel Day is an annual celebration on the 25th of May, as a tribute to the late author Douglas Adams (1952-2001). On that day, fans around the universe proudly carry a towel in his honor. As part of the celebration, I offer you a few things you may not know about The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

douglasadams

Who is Douglas Adams?

Douglas Adams was born on the 11th of March 1952 in Cambridge. He was an English writer and dramatist. While Adams was studying in Cambridge he hitchhiked from Europe to Istanbul, working various jobs to generate funds for it. After leaving school he tried his hand at comedic writing. Adams was “discovered” by Graham Chapman. They became friends, which led to Adams making a few brief appearances in the series ‘Monty Pythons Flying Circus’. But Adams writing style was not fit for the style of radio or television of that time which proved to be a hindrance in his success and led to bouts of low self-esteem and procrastination. Adams was never comfortable with fame and it took years for him to finish each book. In fact the first book ends abruptly due to the simple fact that because Adams was taking so long to adapt the radio series into book form the publishers called him asking that he simply finish the page he was writing.

The conception

The first episode aired on BBC Radio 4 on Wednesday, March 8, 1978, at 10:30 pm.

The Hitchhikers Guide was original a radio series idea. The initial idea for The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy came to Douglas Adams while lying drunk in a field holding a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Europe, staring up at the night sky. The original concept was called The Ends of the Earth. The idea was that at the end of each show, the Earth would be destroyed in a new and interesting way. As Adams wrote he realized he needed a guide, one who could explain the various cultures that bring about the ends of the earth, so the character of Ford Prefect was born. Prefect was not the main character, that would be Arthur Dent, but he role was central to the stories. Adams needed a strong central figure because he did not outline his stories. Adams admitted he “made things up as he went along”, which is why so there are so many plot twists and turns. Adams had no idea what would happen next or where the stories were headed. Most of his most well known characters and plot devises stem from his “just winging it” writing style.

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The Cosmic Cutie

If you live in America and are a fan of the series, this symbol is very familiar. It’s known as the Cosmic Cutie. But did you know Adams hated it? He asked to have it removed from the book jackets but the publishers refused. Why? Because Adams took so long between books it was designed by the publishers to visually connect the books. They were afraid readers wouldn’t know they were part of the same series.

Marvin__the_paranoid_android_by_Argial

Marvin the Paranoid Android

“I’d make a suggestion, but you wouldn’t listen. No one ever does.”

Marvin is a severely depressed robot. He’s so depressed that, when he gets bored and talks to other computers, they commit suicide. His depression is due to the “Genuine People Personality” he received while he was being manufactured. Originally Marvin was to be used in only one episode as comic relief, but proved to be very popular and so became a recurring character.

Babble Fish

Adams realized early on he had painted himself in a corner. How was Arthur to understand the man aliens he encountered? Having Prefect translate would use up limited air time so Adams had to come up with way to save time. According to the first book, The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconscious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with”.

Infinite Improbability

Making stuff up as he went along created problems for Adams. How do you get your characters out of tight situations? Infinite Improbability, the most favorite of all the technology in the series, was created to get Adams out of a corner he’d written himself into. Adams came up with the idea after writing an episode that ended with Ford and Arthur being shot in open space without spacesuits; Adams no idea how to save them. It was absurdly improbable that any spaceship would come along and rescue them in time, so Adams created the Infinite Improbability Drive to make it plausible. This allowed Adams to create a universe in which anything could and usually did happen.

Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything- 42.

“The Answer to the Great Question… Of Life, the Universe and Everything… Is… Forty-two,’ said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.”

Books have been written about Adams answer to life’s most pressing question. Scholars, mathematicians and philosophers have all weighed in on what Adams meant by the number 42. It is ironic that humans are so obsessed with this question that many see value in Adams nonsensical answer. To him the answer is obvious; life is random and meaningless. When asked about his answer, Adams said: “The answer to this is very simple,” “It was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one.

The Towel

When traveling great distances it is always a good idea to pack smartly. Of all the things you must have, which is the most useful? For Adams it starts with a towel.

According to the guide, “a towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-boggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.”

Quotes

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

“For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

“So long, and thanks for all the fish”.

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