Lists – Page 3 – The View From Sari's World

While talking to my assistant yesterday I mentioned my love of podcasts. Without thinking I said, “I have two friends who host a thought provoking podcast on Sunday afternoons”. As soon as the words fell out of my mouth, I started to question my use of the term “friend”. I started to wonder, “are they my friends or are they acquaintances”? Why did I choose that word, and why was it so easy to think of them as friends even though we’ve never met face to face? In the age of superficial connections via social media, who is it that we can truly call our friend and who, an acquaintance?

Merriam Webster defines an acquaintance as: Someone who is known but who is not a close friend The state of knowing someone in a personal or social way : the state of knowing someone as an acquaintance

This definition doesn’t seem to be at all helpful. If you know someone in a personal way, wouldn’t that person be your friend, or someone, because you personally know what she or he is like, is someone to avoid? We need a better definition.

Thanks to Facebook, we have come to loosely throw the term “friend” around when speaking about someone we’ve had even the slightest contact with. Before FB installed its Page feature, celebrities and authors looking to engage with their fans had to become “Friends” with them. Back in 2012 I became “friends” with Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson and even had a one on one conversation with him, but in no way did that count as friendship. So what does?

Who is the friend and who is the acquaintance?

Take these two people as examples: one is someone with whom I am in almost daily contact with, even if it’s a quick note on her FB wall. We’ve been in contact for almost 9 years. In those 9 years we’ve managed an online book club together, wrote long personal e-mails (I owe her one) and have exchanged Christmas gifts. I can still recall the thrill of picking out books for her daughter’s 6^th birthday. But for all of that, we’ve never met face to face. The other is someone that I went to school with. Someone I hung out with middle school (somewhere in my collection of pictures is one of us dancing at my 13^th birthday party). Of course we lost contact after high school and it wasn’t until the invention of FB did we reconnect. I have no idea what his wife’s name is, or how long they’ve been married. Once in a while we post a comment on each other’s wall, and give the obligatory birthday greeting. Yet despite the fact that he and I went to school together and at one time had a personal relationship, I’d be hard pressed to say we are truly friends. He has become an acquaintance, while my online friend and I share a very close personal relationship.

The above example seems obvious, we are learning in large part thanks to the Internet, that real friendships can develop even if distance keeps us apart. But that doesn’t answer my original question, given that we can now connect with authors, podcasters, bloggers etc. Who is it that we can truly call our friend and who an acquaintance? Have we’ve been conditioned to use this term as a catch all for our daily social interactions? What is the line between friendship and a casual acquaintance? Surly not everyone we interact with are true friends.

That last question was key to my understanding of why I called the two above mentioned podcasters my friends. I’ve subconsciously formed an idea of whom I call friend. We all have I’m sure. I even suspect we all have list of what makes up a friendship or at least a vague idea of such a list.

The more I pondered the term “friend” and how I use it, the more important this list seemed to be. So I sat down and wrote one out in order to answer my question and understand why I called two guys I’ve never met, friends. This is how I determine whom I feel comfortable calling friend. I was a little hesitant to share it, as I am sure there will be those reading it that don’t agree or may feel uncomfortable with my idea of friendship. Don’t worry, most of you will never be asked to help me move or get that frantic 2am call.

I once had a boyfriend tell me my internet relationships were not real. He's gone, but my online friends remain. — I once had a boyfriend tell me my internet relationships were not real. He’s gone, but my online friends remain.

You might be Sari’s friend, even though we’ve never met if:

We’ve stayed in contact for a long period of time, even if that contact has moved from one form of social media to another. We’ve shared our ups and downs and know as much, if not more, than the people in our daily lives.

You share personal pictures and stories on your FB wall and or blog and we talk about them, and we do this on a regular basis. I know about your family and your achievements and you know about mine. We cheer each other on and give sympathy when needed.

We feel comfortable posting possible unpopular opinions, knowing the other will not be offended because we both value honesty and differing points of view. And we do this quite often.

I am one of the few people that you will get back to right away. Whenever I e-mail or send a quick Tweet, you make sure to respond right away. We may not communicate often but when we do it is never shallow or impersonal.

Our conversations have moved beyond what brought us together in the first place. If we stay on one topic, then we are acquaintances who share similar tastes and worldviews.

In short, those I call friends know and value my opinions, take me for who I am and are comfortable being themselves around me. We share pieces of our lives, sometimes small, and sometimes more than we share with others. We may not be in constant contact, but when we do communicate it is always a good feeling. And that, I believe, is the cornerstone of all friendships, no matter the distance between us.

I count myself in nothing else so happy
As in a soul remembering my good friends. William Shakespeare Richard II

If you have an idea or list of things that you use to determine friendship let us know. All comments are welcome.

Not all books about Shakespeare are created equal. The motifs and subject matter vary to such a degree that would tax the very soul even the more seasoned librarian. We are familiar with the books that treat the great playwright as the subject matter; these are very easy to catalog, shelve them under biography and be done with it. But these are only the tip of the iceberg.

I bring this up because one of my weekend goals is to gather all my books that have “Shakespeare” in the title and give them a proper shelving. Right now they are scattered here and there with little rhyme or reason. That’s not to say I haven’t made past attempts to shelve them in some orderly fashion. I’ve got most of the books that deal with Hamlet on a nightstand, and my many editions of the 37 plays have been assigned to their own bookshelf which is sadly over crowded and is in terrible disarray. My Arden and Folger editions are fighting for space, while my Yale Complete Works and First Folio smugly look down from their top spot.

How shall we find the concord of this discord? (MSND)

I have books on the authorship question, books on the heavier themes found in the plays such as death and madness, and books that look at the cultural and political settings of Shakespeare’s world(s). Let’s not forget the lighter side too: Shakespeare’s Bawdy and Shakespeare’s Mythical Creatures are hidden between intro to Shakespeare books. Then there are the dictionaries and quotation books, which one would assume would go under the reference heading until you realize all of these books about the Bard are, in one way or another, reference books. I may be over thinking this a bit…

How well he’s read, to reason against reading! (LLL)

You’d think I would refrain from bringing any more books into this fray until I’ve sorted out my problem. In this you would be wrong. Just yesterday I received Cocktails for your everyday Dramas Shakespeare Not Stirred by Caroline Bicks and Michelle Ephraim. While officially a recipe book, there is enough Shakespeare tidbits and trivia to qualify as a reference guide. It is a fun book, not so much to enlighten but to lighten up your mood. How can you not help but giggle at chapters like, Shall I Campari to a Summer’s Day? and Get Thee to a Winery: Girl’s Night Out. The photographs (courtesy of the Folger’s Library) alone are reason enough to see to it that this book doesn’t get forgotten between Shakespeare’s Kitchen and The Skinny Bitch Diet (yes, Shakespeare has even found his way into my cookbook shelf).

My library was dukedom large enough (TT)

The scholarly books seem easy enough. Harold Bloom’s Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human should be near Margorie Garber’s Shakespeare and the Modern Culture as should be Becoming Shakespeare and Shakespeare in America, all dealing with the many ways in which Shakespeare shaped our culture, and to a lesser degree, how we shaped Shakespeare to our liking. But it takes a little bit of mental gymnastics to place William Shakespeare’s Star Wars in this mix.

Good wine is a familiar creature, if it be well used (O)

The smart thing to do would be to make up vague sub-genres and go from there. Or I could just alphabetize them by author or group them by color and make them part of my décor. But it occurred to me on this rainy Saturday that the really fun thing( and possibly sensibly) to do would be to whip up a batch of Rosalind’s Gender Blender and let the problem sort its self out.

Rosalind’s Gender Blender

2 oz vodka

½ cup lemon sorbet

½ cup frozen raspberries

½ cup frozen blueberries

¼ cup simple syrup

¼ cup white wine

Fresh Blueberries for garnish

In a blender, puree the vodka, lemon sorbet, frozen berries, simple syrup, and white wine until pink and blue become a purple blur. Pour into heavy wineglass or goblet and top with fresh blueberries.

This is the first in a 2016 series in which I attempt to incorporate into a blog post, and or review, many of my Bard related books.

Works cited

Bicks, Caroline and Ephraim, Michelle: Cocktails for your everyday Dramas Shakespeare Not Stirred
Shakespeare, William: Love’s Labor Lost, Midsummer’s Night Dream, Othello, The Tempest

Tag: Lists

Shelving Shakespeare

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