Amateur Night at the Alamo; a Satirical Standoff

The only shooting here are the cameras in front of Bundy.
The only shooting here are the cameras in front of Bundy.

Well folks, it looks like we have another performance artist to add to the list of politically driven theater. Coming off the heels of Trumps satirical political run for office, is a satirical stand-off in the far corners of Oregon staring Ammon Bundy and his small band of brothers in arms.

In case you missed this piece of theater, Ammon Bundy, son of the infamous Rancher Clivin Bundy, led a small armed group to Eastern Oregon in order to take over a small federal wild life sanctuary in protest of the reincarceration of two Oregon Ranchers who were convicted of arson.

The Saturday before the pair of Oregon ranchers were to begin their second prison sentence (the original sentence being declared too short) a group of local protesters gathered in Burns Oregon (yes the two convicted arsonists lived in Burns Oregon; insert joke here). As the protesters grew in numbers a few men, led by Bundy decided to take some real action. Bundy’s performance started with a rally “Those who want to go take hard stand, get in your trucks and follow me!

God forgot to tell Bundy to bring snow shovels.
God forgot to tell Bundy to bring snow shovels.

From the original 100 or so protesters, only 11 followed Bundy to the Malheur Wildlife sanctuary; a small federal reserve that houses mostly birds. The building the group took over is nothing more than a gift shop that closes in the winter due to the snow and lack of wildlife (birds being smarter than Bundy flee the area during the winter months).

On Sunday the satirical standoff really took off. Much like Trump’s bombastic rhetoric, thick with outlandish and comical ideas, the group responded to reporters with these gems:

This refuge here is rightfully owned by the people and we intend to use it. We will be here as a unified body of people that understand the principles of the Constitution( or at least until the toilet paper runs out and the group realizes no one is coming to clean the port potties).”

We know based on history that the federal government will try to take control, and they will try to bring force upon these people,” They will literally kill these people that are here, in order to make their message.” Yet Bundy admitted to a reporter that the group has not heard from the authorities since taking over the site. If no one responds to a standoff is it still a standoff or clandestine camping trip? It’s been four days and still no sign of the feds.

In a home video, Bundy explains how God told him to go to Oregon and take a stand for the people. One would think God has bigger things on his mind, than to defend a Oregon building, but maybe not. Personally, I think God is trolling Bundy.

On first glance it would appear the standoff is not going well. The feds aren’t biting and the group’s plea for more armed men are being ignored. But the show must go on, so the group has taken to Facebook, with a SOS: Send us food, socks, snacks, energy drinks, anything! No word if the culinary Calvary is on its way.

As far as standoffs go, this is a dud. No feds, no food, no supplies. For a group who has vowed to “remain on the land for years!”, they are not well prepared to do so. One has to wonder, if God truly told Bundy to go to Oregon, why he didn’t also give him a list of supplies to take? Is God in on the act?

This is why it has to be satire. The comical approach this group has taken can only be seen as performance art. There is little point to their take-over, as the ranchers to whom they have pledged to defend have stated that Bundy and his group do not speak for us. The townspeople have asked them to leave, and the winter weather will delay if not outright stop any food delivery. If this were a live theater production, it would have folded after one night.

Even the media is staying away from what I term this as Amateur Night at the Alamo. Fox News isn’t even buying this act! Megan Kelly asked Bundy:

You know the argument on the other side,” she said. “These ranchers — who you support but are not directly involved [with] — had their day in court. They were found guilty, and it went all the way up to the US Supreme Court, which denied their appeal. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work in our country when it comes to the rule of law?”

Though Bundy says he’s a Constitutionalist, he refuses to accept the Supreme Court’s decision. He can’t because of he did, this would be a major plot hole in his narrative. With little support, Bundy has no choice but to double down on his claims of “people’s rights”.

It remains to be seen just how long Bundy and his small band can hold off the invisible feds, but one thing is clear, American satire is on the rise. What’s next? A group of highly paid yet dysfunctional do–nothing but whine men taking over a federal building in D.C.? Oh, wait.. we have that piece of satirical theater; it’s called Congress.

Works referenced
Littlegreenfootballs.com
The Oregonian.com
The Raw Story

King’s Bazaar of Bad Dreams, more like a nap of fleeting thoughts

UK Cover Version
UK Cover Version

Have you ever awoken feeling a little shook up, or out of sorts because of a bad dream, one you can’t quite remember? I’m sure you have. You try to recall the details if only to sort out why it bothered you, why this particular dream…

If you started a book in 2015, but finished it in 2016, does it count as your first read of the new year? Let’s assume yes, only so that my yearly review is once again a Stephen King book. Last night I finished, The Bazaar of Bad Dreams, a collection of short stories, some previously published, one redone, and one expanded.

After finishing the book, I turned on HBO-Go, hoping to finish the night with a laugh, when I noticed that they finally brought back season one of True Detective. I’ve longed wanted to watch this ever since I caught a partial viewing of one of the last episodes, one that had me curiously riveted. I am only one episode in, so no spoilers please.

In one scene, Matthew McConaughey’s character says something deeply profound about the state of the town he has just moved it. He looks around the parking lot of a grown over boarded-up strip mall, outwardly dejected by what he sees. The mall’s condition is a metaphor on his feelings towards his new surroundings; “This town looks like someone’s memory of an American town, but the memory is fading”.

This quote struck me in many different ways and could be applied to many different ideas, most being political in nature, yet, as I started to write my review, I found that it also applied to King’s latest offering. Substitute the word “memory” for “dream” and you may get a feel for this book.

Have you ever awoken feeling a little shook up, or out of sorts because of a bad dream, one you can’t quite remember? I’m sure you have. You try to recall the details if only to sort out why it bothered you, why this particular dream…

King writes an introduction to each story, telling his constant readers how and why he came up with this particular story idea. I found these tidbits often more entertaining than the actual stories they produced. For me, these stories /dreams felt one-dimensional and wispy around the edges, as if they were fading or had never been fully formed to begin with.

King has always been a favorite of mine (long time readers know of my young adult obsession) because he magically creates well-rounded characters from which deep wells of emotions can be drawn from, even if their lives are only found in a few pages. This time the well turned out to be dry.

This first story, Mile 81, is the only exception, but having been previously published as a Kindle offering, long time readers are left with a collection of stories involving stories that don’t quite work, either they end poorly as with Ur or would have worked if they were longer as with Bad Little Kid and The Dune.

King’s constant readers may find pleasure in a few of these stories, Afterlife, the story of a recently deceased man who finds himself in an office and with a choice, is classic King, but most of others may disappoint. There is no running theme in this collection, other than to say they are a look into the dark side of life, but we expect that from King anyway.

These stories are King’s idea of bad dreams; perhaps they don’t work because he usually offers us up nightmares. These we hold on to, these don’t always fade with time. We constant readers cannot get Quitter’s Inc. or Stand by me out of our minds. The memory of these older stories are what keeps us up at night or have us thinking and talking about long after they end.

King says of this collection, “The best of them have teeth”. I wish that this was true, but the best of them do little more than nip at your brain. One or two may have you thinking, but not for long. The memory of the discomfort leaves you as swiftly as it arrived, leaving you wondering if you were truly uncomfortable in the first place. I’d gladly trade these bad dreams of Kings for his nightmares.

If you feel the way I do, I’d skip this book. If you need a King fix, go back and revisit Night Shift or Skeleton Crew, the best of these stories have fangs.

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